


Hung Where You Can See

by AnotherCrazyFangirl



Series: 12 Days of Dethmas 2020 [2]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: 12 Days of Dethmas, Christmas, Dethklok - Freeform, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Mistletoe, Other, billy boy's getting a kiss dammit, metalocalpyse, shenanigans ensue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:20:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherCrazyFangirl/pseuds/AnotherCrazyFangirl
Summary: It's just a prank bro
Relationships: William Murderface/Original Character(s)
Series: 12 Days of Dethmas 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055411
Comments: 2





	Hung Where You Can See

**Author's Note:**

> Dec 14th: Kissing Under The Mistletoe

It all started out as a harmless prank.

Murderface was dead set on getting a kiss from someone this Christmas. He was getting tired of being considered the least desirable member of Dethklok. There had been a new publication ranking the band. Skwisgaar (of course) took number one followed by Nathan. Pickles and Toki were tied and he was placed dead last.

He was gonna get a kiss one way or another at the Christmas party, even if it was just a pity smooch from a Klokateer.

He’d take it.

So he did what any rational person would do: he covered the entire ceiling of Mordhaus in mistletoe.

Some of it was absolutely nauseating to look at. He had to clear out several stores and he ended up with many that had mounds of glitter. It trickled down like fashionable dandruff. He had the entire rainbow as well in every color imaginable. The traditional red and green ones made their presence known and he secretly hoped that he would be kissed under one of those instead of the neon colored greens, blues, pinks and golds.

He stepped out to the dining room, carefully plotting his course to avoid any unwanted kisses. He made it to the table safe and sat down to enjoy the breakfast (or what constituted for a breakfast time) Jean-Pierre had made.

“What the fuck is all of this?” Nathan growled, poking at a low hanging glittery one. His scowl deepened as it sprinkled glitter onto his shirt.

“Sss mistletoe.” Pickles slurred, tequila bottle in hand.

Toki pulled one down from the ceiling and examined the silvery leaves. “What ams mistletoe?” He asked as he pulled at the fake berries in the center of the leaves.

“Ifs yous get caughts underneaths it, yous has to kiss de others persons.” Skwisgaar snickered, Pickles cackling quietly under his breath.

“Yous have to?” Toki looked apprehensive and he threw it away as if he had been burned.

“Yeeep. Dat’s the law, dood.” Pickles said, taking another drink from his bottle.

Toki made a face before leaning forward and kissing Skwisgaar.

“WHATS DE FUCK?!” The lead guitarist screeched, rubbing at his mouth. Toki pointed at the ceiling where the two had been caught under a bright pink mistletoe. “Pickle said it ams the law.” Skwisgaar recoiled away. “He amnest serious!”

Pickles laughed loudly, leaning against Nathan’s arm only to feel the man stiffen. “What’s wrong with y-” His question died on his lips as he followed Nathan’s dark scowl to the clump of golden mistletoe above their heads. Pickles shrugged and pulled on Nathan’s shirt, landing a long kiss on the vocalist’s lips.

Nathan jumped back as if Pickles electrocuted him and the ginger only grinned lazily. He gave a halfhearted shrug. “Said it was law, dood.”

The rest of the day was spent plotting routes around the mistletoe and awkward kisses shared between the band.

And so far, Murderface had gotten a total of zero.

Pickles didn’t care about the mistletoe and had gotten a number of kisses from giggling Klokateers and groaning bandmates.

Nathan had managed to only get a handful, mostly from Pickles who kept running into him.

Skwisgaar openly took any kisses from the Klokateers but avoided his fellow bandmates like the plague to avoid the breakfast fiasco.

Toki also had gotten a fair number, blushing and giggling like an idiot whenever he had to share a kiss with someone.

Offdensen had taken one look at the ceiling and refused to leave his office afterwards, locking the door.

Murderface tried to be wherever people were, trying to get any form of kiss but it seemed they knew his plan to get a kiss at the Christmas party.

The room was full of people, kisses and giggles being shared liberally.

Murderface was the only exception, a cup of heavily spiked eggnog (courtesy of Pickles) was his only companion. He took a long drink and sighed, resting his head on the cheap red table cloth. The plastic felt warm and it smelled like Play-Doh. 

“U-Um. Excuse me?” A hand gently tapped his shoulder and he jumped back in his seat. The plastic had stuck to his forehead and he swore as he struggled to rip the plastic off. His eggnog had spilled into his lap and now his pants smelled like spices, custard and booze.

“Oh my!” Gentle hands helped pry the plastic off his forehead and they passed him a handful of napkins. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” His glare softened as he stared into soft downturned chocolate eyes. The person shifted, looking away from him with a soft blush showing through their tan skin.

They towered him and he felt like a little kid next to them. They were fucking huge. They were built like a bodybuilder with broad shoulders and a wide torso that didn’t reveal if they were a man or a woman. They had some fat around their middle, giving them a nice softness that followed down their thighs and ass.

They could easily snap him in two if they wanted to and he was absolutely gobsmacked.

They shifted again, holding out another handful of napkins in their hand. “You might want to clean that before it makes your pants sticky.” They advised quietly.

He was too busy trying to place their accent. They sounded...exotic. Like they were from Asia but they didn’t look like any Asian person Murderface had ever met. His brain raced, going through his limited human interactions. Maybe from an island? That was the next best thing he could think of.

“A-Are you...okay? Do you need help?”

He snapped out of his thoughts and snatched the napkins out of the offered hand, blushing furiously. “Fine, juscht fine.” Their face fell and he kicked himself. “...thanksch a lot.”

They offered him a small smile, the white teeth a contrast to the tan skin. “Of course.”

He patted the front of his jeans awkwardly, grateful he hadn’t gone with his usual shorts. “S-Scho uh...you with the Klokateers?”

They shook their wide head. “No, I was here with my friend but he said something about having to make a special appointment? I have no idea what that means but, knowing him, I really don’t want to know.”

Murderface chuckled. It sounded a lot like Skwisgaar and his ‘appointments’ with his gross grandma fetish. “Sounds like he’s gonna get laid.”

They turned light pink and laughed, their whole frame shaking and Murderface was frozen in place by the sound. They were glowing, practically radiating pure joy. “You are probably right! I can’t believe it took me this long to get what he meant!” They wiped the corner of their eye where a tear had leaked.

Murderface grinned, his confidence growing. His eyes darted above their heads and he mentally screamed in joy.

A ball of mistletoe was over their head, the little white berries winking slyly at him in the light.

“Well...would you look at that?” He pointed to the ceiling, his grin stretching.

They followed his line of sight and blanched. “O-Oh?”

“Seems we gotta kissch now. It’sch the law, you know.” He quoted Pickles, hoping it would score him at least a peck on the cheek that he could gloat about and take wildly out of proportion.

He closed his eyes and puckered his lips, waiting expectantly.

Five minutes had passed and he cracked open an eye. They were still stuck staring in fear at the bundle of mistletoe. “Uhhh...” He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned bright red.

“Lischten you don’t have to-”

“N-No, I’m sorry. Some...unpleasant memories if you will.” They scratched their cheek, looking away from him. They squeezed their eyes shut and gathered all their courage before bending down and planting a kiss dead center on his lips.

He was frozen, staring wide eyed as thick lips met his own. Their hands were clutching desperately on his biceps and he was certain there was going to be finger shaped bruises.

The kiss went on for a few more seconds before he was let go, the other party hiding their face. “I...Sorry!” They squeaked out before running away from him, disappearing into the crowd.

Murderface was too stunned to even call out to them.


End file.
